Almost exactly two years ago…I met an amazing guy. Tall, handsome, great personality…he can build and fix shit…great, right?
Before I get too deep into this post, please know that this story is not worthy of becoming an episode of Catfish (we met in person). I was just out of a relationship, he was moving to Canada…so obviously, there was nothing more to us than getting to know each other.
So far, getting to know him has been great. About a year after we met, he visited me in Washington and we had a great time. Since then, between my school and him working 12 hour days, a visit hasn’t been possible. However, where I will be attending school (transferring) is only a 4 hour drive away from where he lives in British Columbia and he has already made it clear that he intends to visit on weekends (with my approval of course).
This is where you wonder where I’m getting at, right? LOL
Ok. So, obviously in two years we have discussed everything under the sun…and after a conversation we had this afternoon, and knowing that we’ll soon be living only a short drive apart.I don’t think it’s wise to have any more than a friendship with him, when there are a few conflicting beliefs and something to do with sex that we differ on…GREATLY.
I can’t tell you how I felt when I heard him utter these words a year ago, when somehow sex came up. ” I don’t “eat”..” *clutches imaginary pearls* I felt like all the air came out of my lungs, and I told him that. Well, actually I told him I felt a small part of me just died inside, which it did. I know that sort of thing shouldn’t be a deal breaker, and honestly it isn’t, yet. BUT for me, someone who is a sexual being (so much so, I’m launching a blog purely about sex…so get ready)…I love it. When I think about it, picture Jodie Foster in ‘Nell’ spinning around in the woods, so happy and free! Yes, sex makes me Tay in the wind! So, to think that one of the most enjoyable aspects of it could be left out if I ever got to that point with this man, left me feeling like Gollum.
This next bit had my inner philosopher/scientist/pragmatist self going through an internal nuclear attack. Now, I’m ok with him being religious. But today, as we discussed my physical anthropology class and evolution was brought up..I thought I was in the twilight zone. He made the statement of ‘You know when Darwin died, he admitted he couldn’t officially confirm that evolution exists’ I kindly, through my teeth, explained to him that Darwin may have said that, but since then, his theory has been proven by other scientists. Of course, he goes into the whole ‘Well, if we all came from apes, why are there apes in general?’ Of course I explained genetic mutations that form over time due to changes in environment, which is basically ALL THAT EVOLUTION IS..and he just wasn’t into it. So I quickly changed the subject, to talk about something less DEEP to cool myself off. He thinks everything can be treated holistically (which many things can), but I also realize that herbs can’t cure a broken leg. Some shit you just need to go to the doctor for. I mean, I really don’t think he actually feels that a broken leg can be cured with a bundle of herbs, but at this point..I’m not so sure. He was having chest pains, and said he was gonna go home and smoke some Indian tobacco! He’s 36, works in a high stress job with long hours..and you’re really gonna go home, and suck on a fucking peace pipe instead of going to the doctor?!
Although I’m young. I’m pretty set in my beliefs. I believe in evolution, I believe two people who are in a loving, monogamous relationship should do things their partner enjoys in the bedroom, and I take my ass to the doctor to get my Vag checked every year, and I’m going when my sinuses get infected, like they do almost every winter-and I don’t want to hear any shit about my ‘Doctor just telling me shit to get a buck’. Obviously, there are other things that we don’t agree on, but they’re little things like…I love bacon & shellfish- He feels they’re the worst things a human could eat.
I realize that people will have differing ideas with any person they decide to be in a relationship with, but I’m worried that I’m just putting my ‘Oh no this muthafucka didn’t’ wall up for things that aren’t that huge of a deal.
Somehow James Carville & Mary Matalin have been together for 20 years, and they are like an oxymoron! So it can be done, but how! I’m already an asshole, and my stubbornness prevents me from backing down from a debate..HOWEVER, I have never been with anyone whose beliefs were so far different from my own! My grandmother says I’m just shying away from this because all my relationships have been easy in that aspect, so I’m afraid. Which may be the case…I also am nervous of even going to that level with him, just to waste my time on something that doesn’t work. Let’s face it, I’m no spring chicken and my child baring years are dwindling. What do you think??